OK, I kind of lost it yesterday afternoon, lost it because I felt so out of control with everything that I was sort of permanently shaking for about 4 hours. Weirdly Mr Wool knew I was struggling and just turned up completely unexpected, finished off, checked and submitted my vat return, made out some massive invoices I was not sure about, bought me cheesecake, gave me big hugs and bought me a pint after I just gave up in a big heap on the floor. Then once I had calmed down, he talked my way out of the way I felt, and I felt a whole lot better.
THANKS MR WOOL, YOU ARE THE BESTEST FREIND A GIRL COULD HAVE.
We sat down and figured some numbers out, and schedules etc, and we decided I have to cap my wholesale. People who are currently my wholesale customers can stay, new ones will go on a waiting list, and all of my wholesale orders will be done only two days a week, no more, and it takes as long as it takes, no more stress, I am really a one woman band, and although I have some help, wholesale is not profitable enough to do it 5 days a week, so, its going to be 2 only, and I need to focus much more on my shop, which actually is the thing I love dyeing for the most, but which unfortunately I have hardly any time to do at the moment. I will also strip out anything which takes up too much time, as I said before clubs, lol, I HATE running clubs, they drive me nuts.
I also have to enforce the rule of working on my own alot more, I need my time to be creative, and its not really happening.
So, although though I am a go getter and I love expanding and growing, I realised that its currently at the cost of my happiness, I have a distributor for scrumptious, and thats what they get commision for, is for the volume, and its little input from me apart from desiging, and thats how I like it.
So, I feel so much calmer today, I still have that wholesale order to finish by this afternoon, but this is the last day of tight deadlines, and Karen is coming this afternoon for a few days to help me with a few things, so I think we shall laugh and have fun, and eat lots of cake, and hopefully I will start feeling a bit more like me again.
Oh and thanks to Dee too, for sharing, you helped me think about stuff loads, big hugs.